Woody Allen to Bill Cosby: There is Life After Rape

Woody Allen to Bill Cosby:  There is Life After Rape

January 14, 2015; New York, NY

Amazon announced today that highly controversial writer/director, Woody Allen, has been hired to head his own comedy series on their new online streaming service.  Allen, 79, is infamously known

"Allen's Woody" offering advice

for allegedly raping his adopted daughter, Dylan, when she was a child.  Additionally, Allen is also known for his marriage to another young girl he raised as his kid, Soon Yi.  By any account, the award winning director has had his fair share of bumps along the road of sexual misconduct.  So when our reporters asked Mr. Allen what advice he would give to embattled comedian, Bill Cosby, he replied, "I would tell him that there IS life after rape.  I understand how traumatic this incident is for him, but he will be able to soldier through and survive this horrible assault."

At last count, Bill Cosby, 77, has been accused of drugging and raping 35 women over the past fifty years.  His stand up tour has been derailed, classic television shows yanked from the air and most recently received a tongue lashing from the world's biggest media whore, Gloria Allred.  His life and legacy seem to have collapsed around him.  But as Mr. Allen points out, with enough money, a little time and some skilled spin doctors, there is nothing an accused rapist can't overcome.

"Traditionally, I've been drawn to the young and vulnerable," Woody said as he walked away. "I'm impressed by the ingenuity used by Bill.  I really need to get the number of his dealer.  That dude could probably hook me up with some awesome shit." he concluded.