BREAKING NEWS: Most Gullible Man in America Tragically Dies After Falling Off Turnip Truck
January 3, 2015 - New York City, NY
A 29 year old Iowa man, Kennardo Bryant, tragically fell to his death while driving his turnip truck Saturday morning around 4:00 AM. Mr. Bryant's common-law wife, Cindie Stoskawitz, managed to jump from the vehicle before it tumbled over the Brooklyn Bridge in the early hours of the morning. "We was visiting the bridge that we just bought from the Internet when Kennardo lost control of the turnip truck" Ms. Stoskawitz told reporters. "I just can't believe he's gone," she continued, "everything was finally turning around for us. We was on our way to Florida to visit our Timeshare and set up a new Amway business."
Relatives confirmed that Bryant was awarded the designation of
America's Most Gullible Man in 2008 by Bernie Madoff Investment Securities, LLC. "I've never seen Kennardo as happy as the day Mr. Madoff presented him with that six foot check for Seventy Zillion Dollars" Mr. Bryant's younger brother, Ricardo, sniffled. "Kennardo really struggled after that talent scout promised to make him a star in the Adult Entertainment Industry. He really seemed to be getting his act together lately." The younger Bryant concluded.
Services for Mr. Bryant are pending as his family awaits payment from his Globe Life Insurance Policy.
No comments:
Post a Comment