Toddlers & Tiaras Mom Suffering from Flesh Eating Crotch Disease?

Toddlers & Tiaras Mom Suffering from Flesh Eating Crotch Disease?


January 13, 2015-  Newport, Rhode Island

Susanna The Pageant Mama

FROM THE FILES OF, "SAY WHAT?" ...

Pageant mom, Susanna (last name withheld) is no stranger to controversy.  When she and her daughter appeared on TLC's popular show, "Toddlers and Tiaras" she stirred up plenty of drama and rivalry with other competitive stage mothers.  Since that fateful episode, two years ago, she has continued to place herself in the middle of fights, feuds and lawsuits in an attempt to stay relevant in the Reality Television world.  So it was no surprise when our editor received an anonymous e-mail with an attachment of Susanna dawning a bathing suit and a whole hairy mess "down below" (see photos).  Tawdry stories and backstabbing are the norm in the high stakes world of pageantry and Reality Television, so we initially dismissed the photos as another pageant mother trying to embarrass the washed-up reality star.  That was, until we sought comment from "Mrs. Pageanty".

Beware, the Hairy Beast

According to the elder pageant queen, she is suffering from an infection called, "Necrotizing fasciitis" which is also known as the Flesh Eating Disease, in her vaginal area.  She made the shocking announcement after we forwarded her the photos of her publicity shots, where she is standing in a bathing suit with pubic hair streaming out of her nether regions. "After I saw that photo of my crotch blown up and emphasizing the massive amount of fur poking out, I just had to set the record straight," she said.  "I am no longer allowed to shave or wax because of the infection," she elaborated.  "The fact that someone even noticed that detail in a promotional photograph proves that I am such a superstar that people try to find imperfections in my total hotness." She concluded.

Susanna is best be known for her antics on and after her appearance on Toddlers and Tiaras, including a lawsuit against media outlets who ran a gossip story about her daughter (which was provided by her publicist).  However, she most recently appeared on a short lived Bravo Television show, "Game of Crowns".  In an attempt to steal the spotlight from her six year old, Mrs. Pageanty began competing on the Mrs. Pageant Circuit and appeared on the show that focused on feuding Over-the-Hill pageant queens.  While Susanna fit in nicely to the cast of fame hungry forty-somethings, America didn't bite and the show was cancelled after one season.

Mrs. Pageanty's antics are so widely known in the pageant and entertainment industry that our editorial staff suspects that she may have been the one who sent us the photos in the first place.  We went ahead and ran the story and her statements concerning her vaginal area out of respect for quality investigative journalism.  Mrs. Pageanty concluded our interview with the question, "Do you think I can get my own Reality Television Show if I tell everyone that I have a flesh eating disease attacking my vagina?" - Maybe, Mrs. Pageanty.  Maybe.